By Eleanora Kukuy
Meshell R Baker dedicated over 25 years to corporate sales in various major companies. Her vast experiences led her to discover her true vision—inspiring other women. During that time Meshell also became a primary caregiver for her sister and founded her own business, Meshell Baker Enterprises. She is also a confidence coach and teacher of vision. On Wednesday evening, February 10, Meshell lit up hearts when she passionately delivered her virtual presentation "Unleashing Your SuperPowers: Cultivating Your Inner Voice Champion." The conversation centered on believing in yourself to help realize your dreams and live your vision, and the necessary habits to support that.
Meshell explained the difference between a goal and a vision. A goal is tangible and has an ending to it. Through the practice of daily habits, it can be calculated and achieved; a vision is something that you keep building throughout your life. It is meant to make you uncomfortable at times, and it will also bring joy and fulfillment. Your unique vision is what makes you a gift to others, and it will help other people to be better around you. "Follow your bliss," discover what makes you passionate, and the rest will take care of itself. However, it's pretty much impossible to do that without the crucial first step—belief.
What do you believe about yourself? "The way you carry yourself says everything about what you believe in yourself," Meshell says. What you believe is what you will eventually accomplish. Reflect and start to ask yourself questions to see what's important to you. Having your "why" is necessary to work towards accomplishing your goals and living your vision. Remind yourself of your "why" every morning when you get out of bed. Remember to be your own best cheerleader, not your worst critic. Positive self-talk will get you far!
Meshell devised an acronym that pulls together her thoughts: BEING
Believe: Why do you believe what you believe? Oprah once said, "You become what you believe, not what you want." Start by believing in what you are capable of, which can be as much as you imagine. If you merely want something, it's a state of not having; actually believing in it opens the possibility to receive what you want. Meshell advises finding powerful women you admire and reading about what they did when they were your age, and what they believed. By the time most people are 35, we are programmed by our knowledge, beliefs, past experiences and memories. We have acquired a learned set of behaviors, emotional responses, habits, and attitudes. This affects how we talk, how we work, and how we do pretty much anything. The way to change it is to cultivate your vision for yourself and the world, one that you strongly believe in and cannot imagine not fulfilling. That's the only way you can change your circumstances.
Experience: What story do we tell ourselves about what happened? We have a lot of thoughts in our head throughout the day. Most of them stem from the subconscious mind. For example, we make up stories about what other people think. More often than not, the stories are negative towards ourselves. If you do make up stories, make up ones that are kinder to yourself, such as that people like you when you walk into a room. Meshell presented an interesting case with a study about communication. When we talk, 7% of the communication are the actual words, 38% is the tone, 55% is the body language. So next time you get a questionable text, don't mull about it for too long—you are technically only getting 7% of the message! Other research shows that people tend to recall rejection more often than affirmation. We are wired to remember past harm more than a belief that works in our favor. That's good to note next time you think of an ex or an unfortunate moment! Remember to redirect your thoughts toward your vision and keep mastering positive self- talk.
Investment: Your brain has the capacity to store an enormous amount of information. You don't have to try to remember everything. Everything that we see and learn gets stored in our unconscious memory; the right information will surface when needed, resulting in some of our best ideas. Keep investing in your mind by reading, studying, and learning skills to improve yourself. If something that you're doing isn't working, do it different ways until it works. Meshell states, "Your imagination makes you infinite. It works for you or against you, period…. Whatever you believe you will create." Keep investing in your mind and following your curiosity.
Nurture: You can't give what you don't have—that's the bottom line with self-care. In order to be a contribution, you have to fill up your own cup first. Make a non-negotiable morning routine. Love yourself so that you can be a gift to others. Most importantly, there will never be another you, so make sure you are taking care of yourself first. That could mean a beauty routine, a bath, a good book, meditation, yoga, exercise, or any combination of these activities or others. "We do what we see, not what people say."
Gratitude: When you truly believe that life works for you, you will feel great, and this ties back to believing. "Gratitude is the behavior that supports the belief." What we do daily truly impacts our life: Everything we experience today is because of something we thought yesterday. As we go down our paths, there will be slips and falls. Throughout it all remember to be grateful for what you have; instead of dwelling on the downside of the pitfalls, think of them as an opportunity that brought you to where you are today. "The only way to get more is to become more." Most people never get to the "more" because they're too busy discussing the problem, and also don't surround themselves with the people who remind them of what they want. Be thankful for all the events in your life. When you stop pitying yourself and instead start being grateful, you will feel better and perform more effectively. You will be more amazed at how much more you know than you think, and you will have more "Ah-ha!" moments.
Overall, building healthy habits and routines take time and practice. They will always be uncomfortable but the payoffs are much greater than the difficulties. The consistency is the single most difficult aspect, but it's NOT impossible.
Meshell left us with a final summary of the "four Es" to practice in our lives.
Embrace discomfort and uncertainty. There are an infinite number of ways to do something, so don't freak out if something doesn't go your way.
Experience uncertainty. Go back to your "Why," remind yourself why you are in a certain spot, and remind yourself the reasons for your vision to empower yourself. Get clear on WHY you are doing life, WHY you said "Yes" to something. Get your own North Star; get your "WHY"!
Establish a non-negotiable morning routine; this is the most powerful form of self-care because you are giving yourself allotted time for your morning practice.
Engage in random acts of kindness. You will not believe you deserve to receive until you start to give it.
Meshell’s presentation can be viewed here.
Follow Meshell on social media and check out her website:
Instagram: @meshellrbaker
Website: meshellrbaker.com